Mourning

Mina sat in front of her fireplace, watching the flames with distant eye’s. Eydis and Vincent had been gone for a few days now, and she had been locked up in the keep with no access to even the garden or kitchen for the entire time. She was, quite frankly, going to start climbing the walls soon if she wasn’t let out. Vincent probably didn’t realize that being locked up like this, with nothing to do, wasn’t helping her fight the loss very well. She wasn’t really the type to sit around doing nothing anyway, preferring to keep her hands busy on something, and now she was forced to wander aimlessly around the keep. Her lips twitched in a faint smile, the residents had never had their small injuries so well tended!

Needless to say, the lack of work was driving her, she mentally laughed, mad! For a moment, loss and sorrow almost overwhelmed her, but she pushed it back. It was the other reason the confinement was not helping her. If she had something to DO she would have things to help distract her mind, at least most of the time. This would allow her to fight the battle on more even footing, which it currently was most certainly not.

A wet nose pressed itself to her side and she looked down into the happy eye’s of the young pup Arvi had brought her, which Arvi had named Fennic. She picked up the puppy, cuddling it into her lap, laughing softly as it licked enthusiastically at her face. The gift had been welcome, of course, as she loved animals, but the name had pierced her like a knife. Everyone was trying so hard to ‘cheer her up’, or ‘make her feel better’, not realizing she just needed space to mourn. Fennic licked her face again and she sighed, cuddling him into her lap. She could feel the need to outwardly show her loss in some fashion. Something people may, or may not, understand. She pondered it as Fennic chewed on her fingers. She looked down, smiling at the pup, her hair falling in the way, giving her a thought.

She wrestled with the pup for a bit, to wear him out, then gently set him back on his bed and scooted closer to the fire. She stared at the fire, letting the thoughts that have been haunting her come to the surface. She could feel the heavy sorrow, the tightness in her chest. She pulled her belt knife and carefully grabbed a lock of her hair. Without thinking she started to sing, staring at the fire as she slowly sawed through the hair, throwing the strand into the flames after. Bit by bit, one lock at a time she consigned her hair to the fire. Strangely, she felt a surprising amount of cathartic release from the little ceremony of song and fire.

Once done, she put the knife away and lay by the fire, staring at the ceiling. Fennic slipped over to lay by her side and she absently scratched the pup. Hopefully Eydis and Vincent would return soon, and she would be able to return to her normal activities. Either way, she was feeling a bit better, for tonight, at least. She knew, eventually, the pain would go, in the meantime, she wanted to get back to living, as she had promised Fennic she would. Besides, maybe if she started, it wouldn’t feel quite so much like she was pretending.

She closed her eye’s, scratching the pup beside her and drifted slowly off to sleep, warmed by the small creature next to her as much as the fire.